Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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