omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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