there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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