Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
