my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
