Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this boner is exhausting
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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