I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
COCAINE IS GR8
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
