i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
