The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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