Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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