should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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