Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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