You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize