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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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