My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
