Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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