ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
