I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
