I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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