I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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