I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
