i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
