I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
