Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
