Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
