I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im holly from the hills drunk
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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