so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize