Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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