the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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