I think I am morally bankrupt
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
