Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
