your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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