She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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