I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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