apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize