I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize