Where did you get a picture of my penis
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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