so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
