booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize