i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
