God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
