You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
