i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
