Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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