i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
