I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
