Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
