You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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