so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
then he tried to convert me to islam
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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