the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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