No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
