you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
