yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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