one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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