you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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