spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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