His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize