Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
