I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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