super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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