he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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