He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
