First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
