it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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